I’ve been purposely avoiding coming back here for a very long time, just trying to get on with my life without being consumed with hair loss. No offense to anyone here. I guess I thought ignoring my hair loss as much as possible would make it easier to deal with.
My hair loss has gotten so much worse and I’m still jobless, going on 2 years now. I’ve spent every waking moment looking for work, even going back to school at the age of 40, and seeing career counselors to no avail. The economy here in California is in the toilet and I find that the few times I have been able to get interviews, I am one of literally hundreds competing for one open position that barely pays. I know it’s tough out there for eveyone seeking work in this economy so I know I can’t possibly be alone in what I’m going through.
My unempolyment has ran out and I’m sponging off my boyfriend for day to day survival. Although he is wonderful to me, he is less than supportive about my hair loss problem as is my family and friends.
Everyone I’m close to in my life has accused me of exagerating my hair loss, told me I was crazy and just being dramatic, and that it’s not "that" bad but it IS that bad! It’s literally as though I have to be COMPLETELY bald before anyone takes me seriously. I can see my scalp from all angles now and it’s getting harder and harder to cover this up. I hate leaving the house anymore and I rarely socialize because of it.
My hair has been shedding "constantly" since I last came here and posted over a year ago. It has never stopped and never even slowed down. Everytime I wash my hair or get it wet it falls out more. Now when I wash it, I let it sit literally in knots without so much as attempting to comb it until it dries completely. When it dries, I take a wide tooth comb and as gently as I can, comb the knots, fearful each time more hair will fall.
I went to a county hospital that has a clinic for low-income people. I waited literally over 15 hours to see a doctor about my hair loss. He took one look at me and laughed at me! He completely dismissed me as having a stress conditon, even after he took my medical history and noted I have a pretty extensive history of having ovarian cysts and menstrual irregularities. I cried in his office and told him I wasn’t leaving until he did some sort of test or give me a referal to help me determin what is causing my hair loss.
He "reluctantly" gave me a blood test to check my thyroid, which came back completely normal. He refused to give me a referal to another doctor that might be able to help determin the cause.
He also told me I couldn’t possibly have PCOD because I had recently been pregnant. Since the last time I posted, I had an abortion. It was traumatic and I didn’t want to abort but being I am 40, unemployed, am barely able to take care of myself, had no family support, and my boyfriend made it clear he was not happy, I literally felt I had no choice. My hair loss began way before I ever got pregnant or had an abortion so I don’t think that is the initial cause of my hair loss but I do believe it has gotten much worse since then.
Also since my pregnancy last year, I have been having severe hot flashes, night sweats and I’m having to literally wash my bed sheets everyday or sleep on a towel on the couch. My periods are literally coming every 17-19 days now w/ very heavy bleeding and poof! After the second day, my period stops. Perimenopause is starting to kick in I think!
Maybe my hair loss has to do with this as well. Due to budget cuts, the majority of free and low-cost clinics have closed down and without a job and health insurance, It’s almost impossible to get any help.
I’m literally taking the last few hundred dollars to my name and am going to try to find a dermatologist that specializes in female hair loss OR maybe even an endocrinologist? If anyone could suggest to me which type of doctor that would be more helpful, it would much appreciated! I could only and "barely" afford to see one or the other but I have to start somewhere!
Someone awhile back suggested I take biotin and Iron supplements and for several months I have been taking 3000 mcg of Biotin 3 times per day and 1 1-a day womens vitamins with iron everyday. So far, it’s not helping much. They also make me sick to my stomach, even when I follow the directions to take them with food. I’ve changed my diet too and have completely eliminated junk food of any kind. I eat tons of protein, fresh veggies and at least one form of fruit a day.
Also, I’ve been excercising, going to the local park and walking at least 3 or more miles a day. While the walking at the park definitely brings my spirits up, nothing is helping slow down this god-awful shedding and I fear it won’t be long before I am bald.
It is so beyond me that I notice over 1/2 of all my hair is gone, strangers are beginning to stare but my own family, friends, and boyfriend don’t see what I and everyone else sees! It’s making me feel like I am literally going crazy! I cry alone in the bathroom after a shower because not only does my boyfriend whom I live with not understand, he has let it be known that he is sick of me crying about my hair and if it keeps up, I’ll be pushing him away from me permanently, so I hide my tears and fake happy.
I have almost no self esteem left and I’m beginning to hate every woman out there that has a full head of hair like I used to have. I can’t help it. I remember what I was like before hair loss. I was happy, carefree and fun. I want to be that person again. Now I just hate my life and hate myself.
Anyway, I know my post is very long and I appreciate each and everyone of you who took the time and had the patience to read this far.
I’ll propbably be back here on this forum indefinitely because I can no longer ignore or avoid what is happening to me and I’ve found no better support system then the lovely ladies here. I just know you all understand!
Thank you for allowing me a place to come and vent!
Caryn